Are You Lying To Yourself?
This challenge needs to be explored to achieve authenticity and living your life openly, honestly and with integrity.
What was YOUR response when you read this article title? Were you excited about reading more? Were you offended or insulted? Did you become defensive or resistant reading further? Did you consider jumping to something else? And my hunch is many people jumped to something else. Because you are still reading, it goes without saying, it touched the truth somewhere deep inside you—like a validation that on some level—you Are lying to yourself.
On some level, we all tell ourselves lies, and that is how many people end up somewhere completely different in life than they intended, or desired. For example: Do you say, ‘It’s not that bad.’ ‘I’ll try.’ ‘I tried,’ ‘Yes, when you mean No.’ ‘I’ll do it later, tomorrow….’ ‘I didn’t have time.’
“Things come apart so easily when they have been held together with lies.” -Dorothy Allison, Bastard Out of Carolina
“The real danger comes in the risk of becoming a ‘liar,’ because lying is likely to become a habit and even a way of being with the world,” says author and Fordham University ethicist Charles C. Camosy
The question is: How do you avoid the excuses you make about telling yourself a little white lie? The excuses you make about why telling white lies is OK, is because you believe you have a solid rationale, which is another white lie.
· ‘It’s not that bad.’ This white lie begs the question compared to what? What are the facts of the matter that you are telling Your Self—It isn’t that bad. What are you willing to do to mitigate the discomfort that prompts you to say, ‘It isn’t that bad?’
· ‘I’ll try.’ Try Definition: to make an effort to do something: to attempt to accomplish or complete something: to do or use (something) in order to see if it works or will be successful. As the definition aptly defines—‘try’ is an effort to do something; an attempt. The definition lacks the full spectrum of achieving a goal. Therefore, try is merely an effort and an attempt to reach a goal. Thus, I’ll try or I tried, implies that one is completely justified in accepting ‘try,’ as the ultimate effort. Therefore, those who are prone to lie to themselves and let themselves off the hook at the least moment of difficulty, will believe they have made every effort. Are you willing to accept that as your legacy? If not, what are you willing to do? I will; or NO, I am not willing, is the truth. I’ll try is at best a half-truth and at worst a ‘white lie.’
· ‘Yes’ when you mean ‘No:’ The majority of children are indoctrinated and conditioned to put others’ needs before their own. It is as if there is nothing worse than having to disappoint someone else, but in fulfilling this commitment one ends up disappointing oneself. Fortunately, humans can pause, before acting. You need to remember to use the pause button. When you are outside your comfort zone, for example, when someone you care about makes an offer or a request you know you need to decline. You might think it’s easier to say, ‘yes’ in the moment and then deal with what comes next, at your own expense. The truth is, you don’t have to please all the people all the time or be the first to volunteer for a difficult, time-consuming job or to be the hero in your family. When you care more about pleasing others than taking care of your needs, you betray yourself and feel drained of energy. And you will resent the other person, blaming them for your inability to say, ‘No.’ Thus, putting a different strain on the relationship—personal or professional.
· ‘I will do it later – tomorrow:’ (Procrastination) Procrastination is the most self-defeating and dis-empowering trait—resulting in poor grades, lost opportunities, low success achievement, being fired, missed events and the list goes on. How To Overcome Procrastination.
· ‘I didn’t have time.’ There are 1444 minutes in each day. What are you doing with yours? When you say you didn’t have time, it is a lie. You are in control what you do with the 1444 minutes. The truth is you gave precedence to other things. The truth is you chose to make other things a higher priority. Acknowledge that fact. Then commit to make this item top priority or scrap it altogether.
The easiest and most effective way to eliminate self-defeating beliefs/thoughts is:
1: Identify one self-defeating belief/thought you want to eliminate.
2: Observe your thoughts, what you say and action. Each time you notice yourself thinking or saying the undesirable the undesirable thought, replace it with a predetermined thought.
3: Without judgment, practice cancelling the undesirable belief/thought and replace it with the new belief/thought, each time you notice yourself thinking or saying the undesirable belief/thought. Within two to three weeks you will notice you seldom think or say the undesirable belief/thought.
Welcome to your new way to create new beliefs/thoughts, which is no longer toxic to your health and well-being.
This moment is the first moment of the rest of your life. What are you willing to do to claim your birth right–-peace of mind and wellness?
There is no shame in asking for assistance to live your life authentically. If you have read the books, taken workshops, had psychic readings, etc. and still struggle; you might have emotional blocks preventing you from moving into what you desire.
P.S. I offer a 20 minute FREE no obligation phone conversation to answer your questions and discuss how health and wellness is possible. https://drdorothy.net
P.P.S. You are worth it. You deserve to create your birth right. ###
Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD implements a highly effective protocol to discover the root cause of all issues and diagnosed symptoms. Emotional, Physical and Spiritual Transformation (EPST) is direct, focused and combines creating health while healing the past. It is precise, powerful, virtually painless and an accurate way of changing the landscape of your inner and outer mind, body and spirit. EPST allows you to access your past, present and future – as well as your subconscious, and clear negative energy on all levels – Mind, Body and Spirit.