Sexual abuse and incest are more prevalent and widespread than the majority of people are willing to believe. It isn’t those people in poor neighborhoods, people who are new immigrants, or living in tenement housing. Children of every race, religion and economic and social status are equally at risk. The effects of incest don’t stop when the abuse stops. The symptoms fester throughout ones’ life and become more embedded as the person becomes older.
Incest is any sexual behavior imposed on a child by any family member, family friend, playmate, neighbor, teacher, sports coach, religious leader, doctor, or any authority figure. Incest includes suggestive or seductive ways of speaking, looking, or commenting directed at a child or their body; fondling; invasive kissing, wrestling or tickling; pressuring or tricking a child into sexual awareness or activity; nonmedical enemas; photographing naked children; exhibitionism; masturbation; oral or anal sex; or intercourse. Leaving pornography in easy reach, telling dirty jokes in the earshot of children, sexually commenting about others, or hinting at your abundant or lack of sex life to a child are additional forms of sexual abuse.
Some red flags of sexual abuse in children and adolescents can show up in self-destructive behaviors such as cutting the self; running away from home; hostile or aggressive behaviors; promiscuity; sexual play with themselves, dolls, animals, or other children; copying adult sexual behavior; displaying sexual knowledge beyond what is normal for their age; urinary infections; unexplained pain, swelling, bleeding or irritation of the mouth, genital or anal area, and suicide attempts.
Abuse memories can show up in dreams, meditative states, nightmares, and daydreams, and can be reflected in phobias, fears, fantasies, attractions, repulsions, compulsions, panic attacks, sexually compulsive or avoidant behaviors, aberrant sexual practices, and modes of dress.
Incest survivors need to know what happened to them is never their fault. Incest is a severe abuse of power and the child’s innocence. It is an adult’s responsibility to protect a child, and not use them for their own ill purposes.
The more someone has been traumatized, the more parts of the self split off for protection. At every age at which the child has been hurt, parts of the self split off and become fixed in time. These parts can be typified as inner children. Through transformation therapy, these parts can be accessed and given the care they need to be reintegrated into the core self. As the inner self is nurtured, supported, and validated this child-like aspect begins to grow and heal, thus catching up with the chronicle age of the person.
Sometimes the trauma is so severe that these parts, out of self-preservation, develop separate identities and personalities. Once these personalities are given the basic human requirements they need and deserve, they begin to blossom and flourish. It is important that every personality, altar, or inner child is given the love and support they need to become an integral, healthy part of the internal structure.
Allow me to walk with you through the pain into health and happiness, in healing the wounds, you will find your love, your power, and your Self.