The axiom – ‘You are what you eat,’ might seem to apply to other areas of one’s life. Following this line of thinking another conclusion would be ‘You are who you are by your decisions. Yet, ‘You are not your decisions and no decision is wrong because you make the choice with the information at hand.’ There is no true ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ decision.
Your decisions contribute to your development and are an integral aspect of your evolving journey, yet, they are separate from who you truly are. A decision that fails to produce the intended outcome is in no way a confirmation of your character. Albeit, there can be dire effects on your ability to trust yourself and maintain your self-esteem. You can avoid becoming your decisions by affirming that a ‘bad decision’ is an experience and you can choose differently, next time. You need to avoid lingering in the past and mulling over the circumstances that led to your perceived error in judgment.
You need to reflect on the consequences of your decision from a rational perspective rather than an emotional standpoint; nor avoid entirely thinking about the choices you have made. Strive to understand what prompted your choice and focus to avoid it in the future.
Your perception of the traits and characteristics that make you who you are is tightly intertwined with how you live your life. You define yourself in terms of the roles you embody, your actions and inactions, your triumphs, and what you think are your failures. As a result it is easy to identify strongly with a decision that has resulted in unexpected negative consequences that you deem as a ‘wrong’ decision.
When you focus on the disappointment and shame your thoughts create when you perceive it as a mistake can grow until it becomes a dominant part of your identity. You might rationalize your ‘wrong’ decisions by labeling yourself an incompetent decision-maker. Therefore, it can’t be helped. This way of thinking is more damaging than making a perceived ‘wrong’ decision, because you are judging yourself, which will lock you into the mind-set you want to avoid. However, your true identity cannot be defined by your choices. Your essence–who you truly are–makes you a unique entity–and it exits independently of your decision-making process.
What if the perceived ‘wrong’ decision was the path you needed to walk to be able to connect with the ‘right’ decision? Your perceived mistake becomes a valuable learning experience and is, in essence, a gift to learn and grow from. You are not a bad person and you are not your decisions; you are simply a human making decisions – some work better than others.
Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Metaphysician – Certified Hypnosis Practitioner, Author and Speaker. Dr. Dorothy facilitates clearing blocks, fears and limiting beliefs. You can live the life you desire. She brings awareness to concepts not typically obvious to one’s thoughts and feelings. https://drdorothy.net