New Strategies For True Life Balance
Keeping pace in a fast paced world driven by technology has become more difficult with each new electronic gadget. People think with each new gadget they can do more in less time. Losing sight of what is important in life is increasingly more apparent. More and more people are living task-to-task, without the balance in their life that keeps what is most important in the forefront.
You might ask, “How can I live my life productively and also maintain the delicate ‘yin and yang,’ between what needs to be done and include fun for me?”
You probably have noticed many personal and professional teleseminars, workshops and books on time management skills….change your life forever…the headlines tout.
The majority of people explore the issue of balance by talking about a work-life balance. For example, maybe work is taking away from having a completely fulfilling relationship with loved ones. How do you know if you are devoting enough time and energy to your relationships? And what other areas seem out of balance?
The work-life balance, begs another question. What are you balancing between? Is your work-life not a part of your life? The uncomfortable feeling related to a balanced life stems from a lack of clarification regarding what you value most. Without this identification, it is nearly impossible to truly balance your life.
Are you overwhelmed carrying an ‘ideal’ that is not yours?
The first thing you need to ask yourself is whether there is truly a lack of balance. Is it possible that you have an idealized image about a balanced life that you haven’t lived up to? Do not assume that one of these is, more true for you than the other. The steps to resolve the issue would be very different depending upon which case most resembles your situation.
What is your idealized image of life balance? The majority of personal growth coaches have their own prescriptions for what life balance means. They often have developed pie charts, star diagrams and graphs that define the different areas of your life, and then show you how to rate yourself in each area. They might suggest it is best to make sure you score evenly in each area.
When you do one of these life balance exercises, you might realize that when you mapped out the number of hours a day you spend doing all the different things that keep you busy; you do not schedule time to be with family and friends or have fun activity time. Are you more into work—either work for the home or career?
After doing a life balance exercise you might have the nagging thought that somehow you ‘should’ be doing these things because you didn’t score on the balance chart in the area of ‘family and friends.’ And if you scored low in this area, you might be concerned that your life is somehow, ‘out of balance.’
However the truth is, the longer you consider this, the more you realize this it is not really creating a ‘problem’ or stress in your life, nor do you feel any discomfort in the moments you are engaged in your business activities.
You might realize that since your ‘work’ is your passion and you could not imagine trading this for time doing something that would be ‘less fun’ in those moments. You might find that the life balance you have achieved between these activities suits you, even though they are not ‘equal.’
Time Management = A myth. Time is time. There is no possible way to change it, bend it, manipulate it or wrestle it to the ground. Managing time is impossible. Managing yourself and what you do is possible within a spectrum of moment to moment.
Western society has become a one-size-fits-all mentality. Thus, we believe that the best way for a person to determine if they have “balance” in their lives is to see whether or not they are ‘falling down’ i.e. failing in some area. Of course, this is not to say that you are literally falling down. However, it is posited that if you are not giving enough attention to an area of your life that’s truly important to you, it is expected that you are going to end up having some distress in that area.
So the next time you have any nagging doubt about whether or not you have life balance… Stop. Do not set out to fix something unless it is broken. Ask yourself, “Are there areas of my life that are problematic or stressful?” If you discover you’re not giving enough attention to an area of your life that is truly important to you, then this is an area you would do well to devote more attention to.
Conversely, you need to consider whether it is possible that, like many people, the nagging doubt about having “life balance” is really holding on to someone else’s ideal that you have adopted and there is nothing ‘wrong’ with what you are doing.
You are the only authentic authority in your life! The most effective time management system comes with the idea that you only invest your time in the things that are most important to you.
Manage Yourself To Create Your Best Life
Ask yourself the question, “Are there areas of my life that are problematic or distressful?” You may discover that your intimate relationships are fragile—that having deep, and caring connections are truly lacking in your life. Or that you are not having enough alone time to truly relax and regenerate yourself.
Traditionally the majority of counselors, personal/professional coaches would tell you…”You need to have a good time management system.” WRONG!! You need to explore the ways you are spending your time now and what prompts you to spend your time that way. This exploration allows you to begin making conscious choices about how you spend your time—turn on your inner pilot and turn off autopilot.
When you delve into these areas, you will discover you are spending some of your time doing things that you are enjoying less and accomplishing little. If so, you need to ask yourself, “Am I doing these things because I ‘want to’ or because I think, ‘I have to.’
If you are doing things because you think you ‘have to,’ then you need to keep a close eye on how much you are enjoying how you are spending your time. You need to determine how much you value each of the activities that fill your days. Once you have identified the items you have little enjoyment doing; it will be easy for you to determine which things you want to spend less time doing and which items you would like to spend more time doing.
New Strategies for True Life Balance
Your next step would be to identify and implement specific strategies for doing less of what you enjoy doing least. You can fill this newly freed-up time with what is missing for you now, such as activities that offer the opportunity for caring connections with people. Then it’s simply a matter of committing to these new strategies. You are in control of how you live your life, and getting a handle on attaining what is important to you will change your life forever.
You may notice that it really does not matter if you find you are being nagged by some adopted ideal, or if something truly is missing. Either way, the first step in beginning to have more of what you want in your life is to figure out what is truly important to you. Then let go of anyone else’s idea of what ‘should’ be important to you. And the surest way we know for you to find what is important to you is to do what feels best to you in every moment.
Once you have identify what you enjoy and what you enjoy less, you can begin balancing your life by focusing more on the areas you enjoy and doing less of those things you enjoy less. If you can accomplish this, or even just begin to practice it, this will certainly change your life for the better as it will lead to achieving balance that is designed for your maximum enjoyment and benefit to you and your personal values.
This moment is the first moment of the rest of your life. What are you willing to do to claim your birth right–peace of mind and wellness?
There is no shame in asking for assistance to live your life authentically. If you have read the books, taken workshops, had psychic readings, etc. and still struggle; you might have emotional blocks preventing you from moving into what you desire.
P.P.S. You are worth it. You deserve to create your birth right. ###
Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Metaphysician, Board Certified NLP-Hypnosis and Time Line (PLR) Practitioner. She assists you to transform your doubts, fears, anxiety, blocks, indoctrinations and conditioning that keep you from living a more fulfilling and stress free life. EPST works at the cellular and soul level thereby eliminating spiritual, mental, emotional and physical dysfunctions, blocks and challenges.