Silence a.k.a. Withholding is the most damaging and hurtful form of verbal abuse. One might think that in order for the behavior to be considered verbal abusive words need to be spoken. This misunderstanding of verbal abuse adds to the recipient’s confusion within the relationship. The recipient of silence/withholding may believe the relationship is functional because the abuser may communicate functional information, but refuses–through silence/withholding (non-responsive)–to communicate on an intimate level.
Worry is part of fear. Worry/fear is prompted by thoughts that something will go wrong, is wrong or can not be reconciled. Worry usually is prefaced with ‘If only….’ or ‘What if….’
The idea is that you are on your own and you do not need any assistance from anyone. Thus, when you are successful it is because you are in complete control. It is an illusion to believe that one can control or at least influence outcomes with total certainty.
Ironically, the button pusher might not be conscious of what he/she is doing. However, in the end the buttons others push belong to you. You are the one, who needs to deal with what comes up. The more you take responsibility for your feelings and reactions, the less the other person can push your buttons. You are in control – not the button pusher.